When Passion Masks Emotional Distance

I used to think I was just really drawn to passion and chemistry.

But then I noticed a pattern—every time I felt emotional distance, I also felt a rush of desire…

What I didn’t realise was that my body was trying to bridge an emotional gap with physical connection.

Have you ever felt this?

• You sense emotional disconnection, and suddenly you crave touch.

• You feel someone pulling away, and instead of stepping back, you feel an intense pull toward them.

• You mistake physical intensity for relational depth, hoping it will make the emotional void disappear.

For a moment, it works. S*x, touch, closeness—all of it feels like connection.

But the next day? The distance is still there.

• Because passion can’t replace intimacy.

• Because longing isn’t love.

• Because attraction isn’t always true connection.

Here's the thing you need to know. The nervous system does this as a survival response—it’s wired to seek closeness in whatever way it can. But when we don’t see the pattern, we can end up chasing the high of desire instead of the depth of intimacy.

So how do you know the difference? How do you stop repeating this cycle and start building relationships where you feel fully met—body, heart, and soul?

This is exactly the kind of work I do inside The Sanctuary—a 1:1 six-month space where we uncover and shift these unconscious patterns at the nervous system level.

Because real love isn’t found in longing.

It isn’t found in chasing closeness through s*x.

It’s found in being with someone who meets you fully.